Everyone Is Gay presents:
8 Ways to Celebrate Pride with Your Cat
This pride, why not celebrate with your most loved family member: your cat!!! We all know how agreeable cats are to most anything, so here are eight great ways to have the best pride of you life with your feline.
1. Confetti gun. Cats love when you shoot off confetti in their presence (spoiler: no they don’t)
2. Dress them in rainbows!!! Cats LOOOOVE to wear cute outfits and to be dressed up!! (spoiler: nope, evidence: attached)
3. Party Party Party!! Cats love it when there are a ton of strangers around, loud music and dancing!! Plus, you can move their litterbox into a different room so your guests don’t have to smell poop! Cats love having to search for their litterbox, it’s like a scavenger hunt!! (spoiler: nuh-uh)
4. Bring over other animal friends. Cats LOVE hanging with animals they haven’t met, they’re super social creatures! (spoiler: maybe no)
5. Put catnip on EVERYTHING. Cats love to be high, in fact, they know exactly when to stop sniffing / eating catnip so they only get a little bit high and don’t go absolutely batshit. (Spoiler: nah they don’t)
6. Feed them gyros and cups of fruit! Cats are obsessed with food stands and eating things that are not made for cats! They have stomachs of steel and never get sick!! (Spoiler: BAD IDEA THEY WILL BARF EVERYWHERE)
7. Feather. Boas. Did you know most cats really want to be birds? Nothing makes them feel more special then having feather boas around their necks to celebrate. (Spoiler: dear god do not)
8. March them in the parade!! Cats love to walk on a leash, and they love loud noises, naked screaming people, and Cher. They honestly probably have a collection of Cher records. Bonus: Let them carry the sign that says “CatPride 2014 MEOW!” (Spolier: do not and do not)
We hope you have SO much fun.
We also hope you do none of these things.
So that you have fun.